#17 - Shopping for Essentials
My eight-year-old son, Lije, made a very big purchase the other day. His floppy wallet was a bit fatter than usual, and he had apparently made up his mind to spend some of his wad of $1 bills so he might walk upright again.
It was one of those days when we seemed to be out of all sorts of essential items needed around the house, such as work socks, glue, a can of ceiling paint, fly paper, some groceries and a sack of chicken feed. So the whole family hopped into the car and went to town with lists in our pockets - a serious shopping trip.
A quick stop here, a five-minute stop there, a "meet you at the car in half an hour" kind of operation, we managed at some expense to cross off most of the things on our lists. All the while, the youngest member of the shopping crew was busy slipping forbidden treats into the grocery cart and longing out loud for things like a bicycle and a BB gun. "Buy it, " I'd say, and he'd keep on longing, silently.
Finally, after taking a huge chunk out of what might otherwise have been a fine day, we'd crossed off just about everything on our lists and it was time to head home. But there was a problem. The young man in the car had not yet spent a red cent and he had something important on his mind. Earlier in the afternoon, while at the grain store, he had discovered a cage with kittens in it, and they were for sale. One in particular had commanded his attention.
At the time I didn't think much of the kitten idea. We already had Daisy and Johnny-Jump-Up at home, descendants of the wild herd of cats my wife has been raising over the years, and the last thing I would have written on my shopping list was "One new cat." Yet I inwardly admitted having admired that kitten myself. It was a long-haired tiger with a tawny belly, white feet and magnificent tasseled ears . . . and after only the briefest introduction, it had appeared to have had a tolerant and even a noble disposition. As a family, we were well-versed in the ups and downs of the cat business, however we could feel our collective resistance to temptation weakening just a little once again. Anyhow, we made no decision at the time.
But now, on the way home, thoughts returned to the kitten. I am sure Lije was thinking it would be nice if at least one of us bought something fun to take home. "But I need a cat," he pleaded from the back seat. He was very serious about it, and he had the money. We returned to the grain store to have a second look at the kitten.
When the smiling clerk told him it would cost $3.00, "I'll take him," Lije said. "I need a cat." We were told the kitten was guaranteed - to do WHAT was not clear. After picking out a few cat accessories, we were at long last on our way home, and no sooner had we started down the road when Lije bestowed a handsome name on this very small fluffy cat: "Deuteronomy! We can call him Deuter for short."
It took this kitten just about a day to carve out a niche in our family hierarchy, pretty close to the top. Calling Deuteronomy's name quickly became the latest household tongue-twister, and it was nearly as hilarious as Deuter himself, who seemed to have spontaneous electrical short-circuits every time he ambled across the kitchen. He would suddenly go berserk and scramble crazily about without any identifiable purpose in mind. His best act was to attack the dog's wagging tail as it thumped on the floor. With a great rump-wiggling leap, he would tackle it tooth and nail, and while trying to disembowel it with his two hind feet, the wagging monster kept right on thumping, smartly thumping poor Deuter up and down as well. He was easily the most entertaining purchase of that shopping trip to town.
I still wonder about the guarantee however. Deuter appears to be fully wired, and there is no doubting that all his plumbing works. His night vision has to be excellent too, because he has been ramming marbles around the house all night, every night since he arrived. I think he was guaranteed never to let us forget that we actually paid money for him. As his official master put it, "Pretty good deal for three bucks, huh Dad? "